Opening Day

Today was unseasonably warm. Not unusual in Colorado but such days have been rare the past two winters. Last winter was dreadful but this winter has not been that much better in terms of ridable weather. It's been consistently cold even though there hasn't been that much snow.

As a consequence, a Sunday with 60F temperatures and level 3 winds saw riders swarming the reservoir. No doubt they were all anxious to get in an epic training ride in a futile attempt to undo months of detraining in one day. Good luck with that.

The personal significance of today was that it was my first outdoor ride in a long time. It's always an interesting day because it gives a little insight into the efficacy of my winter training or whether I've been wasting my time.

While you may never forget how to ride a bike, it may take a little time to remember. I felt detached, as if I was watching TV or playing some kind of video game rather than actually being on the bike. Simple things like slowing down to make a turn or dodging clumps of snow had to be relearned.

Grimace

Grimace has the distinct honor of being the first "kill" of the season. But don't feel sorry for him. Like all RRs, he brought it on himself.

On my 2nd trip around the park, I saw a few riders ahead of me. One was passing others but I was gaining him steadily without actually chasing him. As I got closer, I saw that he had a handlebar plug mirror and that he was using it. Unbelievably, my first RR encounter of the season entailed an RR playing keep away with me. His body language and form indicated that he was pushing hard to stay ahead of me. Among other things, he got down into his drops (I remained on the hoods) and got out of the saddle and hammered a few times.

I kept the pace steady at around 270W which caused me no discomfort whatsoever. After all, I'm just doing my thing and not chasing him. We hit the turnaround point at the other end of the park and he U-turned and paused for a drink. Not being one to take advantage of the situation, I slowed to drink as well and waited for him to begin accelerating.

He appeared to be fairly cooked already and maintaining the same steady pace, I soon drew even with him and then ahead. To his credit, he did not draft off of me when I was ahead of him and instead hung back a bit. I could see he was digging deep to keep up. His face was contorted with pain. He soon detonated completely and was out of sight. Elapsed time was perhaps 10 minutes.

name: Grimace
fitness rating: 5/10
aggressiveness: 4/10
pusillanimity: 5/10
arrogance: 5/10
special ability: can see behind w/o turning around


The Herm'

Later, I saw what appeared to be the remains of a group ride up ahead. Bringing up the rear were the really out of shape recreational riders. I passed small clumps of riders at a fairly good clip. The strong breeze was behind us at this time so speeds were high.

I soon got to the pointy end of the group and got to see who had shattered the group. It was a relatively small person with a QRR on its wheel. Usually, you can tell if a rider is male or female with a quick glance but not in this case.

Engage RR mind probe:

The Herm': "I'm rockin' this season, shattering this group ride."

[I go zipping by.]

The Herm': "Who the f%$k was that? I'd better give chase. My honor is on the line."

RR Slayer: "Was that a guy or a girl?"

[The Herm' holds the gap for a few moments and then fades. The gap grows rapidly and soon the Herm' is out of sight.]

The Herm': "Sh%t! I guess I'm not the sh%t."

RR Slayer: "I need to pee."

name: the Herm'
fitness rating: 5/10
aggressiveness: 5/10
pusillanimity: 5/10
arrogance: 5/10
special ability: can reproduce asexually